Abusive Relationship - Part 2

I wish it was really easy to recognize an abuser but it's not that simple. Come on, how hard can it be? Well, there are a few reasons to that; (1) We were never been taught the red-flag signs to see in an abuser, (2) Physical abuse is much more easier to identify than emotional and mental abuse, and (3) It's confusing when you're in a relationship and identify that your date is an abuser.

And as I've mentioned earlier in part 1, not only women are subject to abusive relationship - men can too although they would never want to admit it for fear of losing their pride. Such abuse can be in forms of emotional abuse and for some cases, physical abuse too.

Perhaps you wondering if you can spot an abuser or if you're involved in one, here are some questions which could help in the identification. If you answered yes to any of these questions or a lot of them, I suggest you speak to someone who can assist.

1. Do you feel that there's something wrong with your relationship but can't describe it?
2. Does your date get jealous or angry when you talk to the opposite sex?
3. Does your date accuse you of cheating all the time?
4. Does you date blame you for everything that goes wrong?
5. Do you feel nervous when you're together with your date?
6. Are you afraid to disagree with your date?
7. Do you feel that your thoughts and opinions are not valued by your date?
8. Will your date do anything to win an argument by threatening or putting you down?
9. Are you told that no one else would want you?
10. Does you date tell you how to manage your finances all the time?
11. Does your date's jealousy stop you from seeing your family or close friends?
12. Do you feel like you have to account for your time?
13. Does your date call you names when you try to talk about your problems?
14. Do you have to be careful with your action so as to avoid his/her anger?
15. Does your date ever scare you with threatening or violent behavior?
16. Does your date punish you for resisting control?
17. Does our date prevent you from going out or doing things you want to do?
18. Does your date tell you that if you've changed, he/she won't abuse you anymore?
19. Does your date tell you that they will hurt you or themselves if you break up with them?
20. Did your date seemed charming initially but now criticizes and humiliate you in from of others?

If you're convinced that you're with someone who is abusive, the main thing you need to realize is that you are not responsible for their behavior. Abusers are skilled at twisting the truth to make you feel that you're the one to be blamed for their problems. Remember, it's not your fault.