Teen Mental Health

You watch your child as they grow up and understandably every parent has certain expectations of him or her. But we do have to remember that the teen years are not only tough for the parents but for the child too. Adolescents are under stress to do well in school, be liked by their peers, get along with their family and make important life decisions.Most of these pressures are unavoidable and worrying about them is natural. But if your teen is feeling extremely sad, hopeless or·worthless, these could be warning signs of a mental health problem.

Many people think that young people do not get mental health problems and brush them aside. The real fact is young people DO get mental health problems that are real, painful and can be severe. They can lead to school failure, loss of friends, or family conflict. Extra care and attention would need to be exercised should your teen show any of these signs that may point to a possible problem.

• Is angry most of the time, cries a lot or overreacts to any situation
• More anxious or worried than other teens
• Grief for a long time after a loss or death
• Is extremely fearful - has unexplained fear or has more fears than other young people
• Is constantly concerned about his or her appearance or physical problems
• Feels guilty or worthless a lot
• Unable to sit still or focus attention
  
• Has poor concentration and cannot make decisions
  
• Frightened that his or her mind is getting out of control
  
• Loses interest in things he or she usually enjoys and does worse in school
• Has unexplained changes in sleeping or eating habits
• Has persistent nightmares
  
• Avoids friends and families - wants to be alone all the time
• Feels that life is hard to handle and talks about suicide
  
• Hears voices that cannot be explained
• Has the need to perform certain action several times a day
• Uses alcohol or other drugs
• Continues to exercise or diet excessively although is already very thin
• Eats large amounts of food and then forces vomiting, abuses laxatives, or takes enemas to avoid weight-'gain;
• Often hurts other people, breaks the law or destroy things
  
• Does things that can be life threatening
  

Eat to Beat Stress!

You can brush off the remarks you've heard about stress-eating is a bad thing. Gorging away when your nerves are jangling can actually calm you down. The good news is you can chow away with all these yummy goodies and not worry about the risk of obesity, high blood pressure and heart diseases. The basic chemicals in each food are responsible for such reactions.

1. Salmon is rich in Omega-3 fatty acids and Vitamin D. It keeps cortisol and adrenaline from geysering. Omega-3 fatty acids also protects us against heart disease. Other fatty fish like mackerel, herring and light tuna does the same. For other Omega-3 punch, buy foods fortified with DHA such as omega-3 fortified eggs, yogurt and soy products.
   
2. Spinach is rich in folic acid, soluble fiber and magnesium. Magnesium tends to relax us and put us in a soothing mood. Not getting enough of it may trigger migraine headaches and make you feel fatigued.
   
3. Skim Milk is rich in Vitamin D and B12. Not only the old warm-milk remedies insomnia and restlessness, it turns out that calcium can reduce muscle spasms and soothe tension too. A glass of this 'moo' juice may also reduce stressful pre-menstrual syndrome (PMS) symptoms such as mood swings, anxiety and irritability.
   
4. Nuts such as almonds, pistachios and walnuts a bursting with Vitamin E, B and magnesium. Not only it helps to calm down your nervous system but also helps to lower your blood pressure. Both sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds also contributes to the same purpose.
5. Oatmeal and other whole wheats which consists of carbohydrates make the brain produce more serotonin, the same relaxing brain chemical released when you eat dark chocolate. The more serotonin, the happier you'll be.
   
6. Vitamin C is essential in keeping stress at bay. Vitamin C is present in uncooked fruits and vegetables, especially citrus foods and red and green peppers. It's also found in papayas, cantaloupes, strawberries, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, tomatoes, asparagus and parsley.
   

Eat up in all these foods and may you keep you moods and spirits high.

Mental Health of the Young

In this fast evolving stressing world, people from all ages of life experience some kind of mental health problems and children are not excluded from this. Many children have mental health problems that can be painful and severe and this problem affects every one out of every five children. At least one out of every ten may experience serious emotional disturbance that severely disrupts his or her ability to function well.

Tragically an estimated figure of up to 75% of all young people with mental health problems are not getting the help they need. All these mental health problems can eventually lead to school failure, alcohol or other drug abuse, violence, or in some cases, suicide.A variety of signs may point to a possible mental health problem in a child or teenager. If you are concerned, you can talk to your doctor, a school counselor, or other mental health professionals who are trained to assess whether your child has a mental health problem.

There is no one right way to raise a child but clear and consistent expectations of every child by all caregivers, are very important. Here are a few suggestions but are not meant to be complete.

• Do your best in providing a home and community to your child, as well as nutritious meals, regular check-ups, immunization and exercise.
• Be aware of the stages in child development so that you will not expect too much or too little from the child.
• Encourage your child to express his or her feelings and respect those feelings. Let your child know that everyone experiences anger, pain, anxiety and fear.
• Help your child to express anger positively, without resorting to violence.
• Promote mutual trust and respect. Keep your voice level down even when you don't agree. Always keep your communication levels open.
• Listen to your child and encourage questions. Use words and examples your child can understand.
• Always provide comfort and assurance. Be honest and focus on the objectives. Express your willingness to talk in any subject.
• Encourage your child's talents and accept limitations.
• Set goals based on the child's abilities and interests. Not other people's expectations. Celebrate accomplishments. Always appreciate the uniqueness of your child and do not compare him or her with other children. Spend time with your child regularly.
• Foster your child's independence and self-worth.
• Help your child to deal with life's ups and downs.
• Discipline constructively, fairly and consistently. Help your child to learn from his or her mistakes.
• Look at your own problem solving and coping skills. Are you setting a good example? Seek help if you are unable to control your own anger and frustrations.
• Love unconditionally. Teach the value of apologies, cooperation, patience, forgiveness and consideration to others.
  

Do not expect to be perfect. Parenting is no easy task but you can make it easier through love and understanding.

Teen Girls' Mental Health

Mental health is how we think, feel, and act in order to face life's situations. It is how we look at ourselves, our lives, and the people we know and care about. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, evaluate our options, and make choices. Everyone has mental health. But, today I am going to focus on the mental health of teens especially for teen girls. Did you know that;

• Girls are three times more likely than boys to have a negative body image. Such cases are often reflected in eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia.
• Girls are seven times more likely than boys to get depressed and is twice likely to attempt suicide.
• In Malaysia, out of the 50 teenagers who starts smoking every day, 10 of them are girls.
• During teenage years, girls are more likely to try risky behaviours including drinking, smoking, using drugs and exploring their sexuality unhealthily.
  
• Girls who develop positive interpersonal and social skills decrease their risk of substance abuse.
• Girls who have an interest and ability in areas such as sports, arts, academics and involve in community activities are more likely to develop confidence and may be less likely to use drugs.
  

Mental health is paving the way to enhance girls' mental wellness by helping them to build self confidence. Mental health is important at every stage of life as relationships and physical health are all affected by it. Therefore, caring and protecting a child's mental health is a major part of helping that child grow to become the best she can be.

Girls' independence is usually encouraged in childhood and their strengths are nurtured. Most girls become emotionally, mentally, and physically healthy young adults. But sometimes, during the transition from childhood to adolescence, extra care is necessary, so that a girl's self-esteem and coping skills are not diminished.

Anger Management - Part 2

Anger Management is never about stopping you from expressing your anger completely. It's OK to feel angry. In fact, trying to suppress or deny your anger can lead to a mass of physical complaints, such as headaches, depression, stress, and sleeping or eating problems. It can also lead you to erupt into violent behavior if your anger has been simmering without an outlet.

The key, though, is to express your anger in an assertive, controlled way. Managing anger effectively can benefit you and those around you. Your health may improve, you'll feel better about yourself, and strained relationships may heal when you control your anger.

Of course, no one said anything about the easy way out. Controlling your temper is never easy but here are some tips to help get your anger under control.

• Do something physically exerting. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your erupting emotions. Go for a run, brisk walk, swim, lift weights or any other physical activity you like.
• Take a “time out”. Hold your tongue and count to 10 before reacting. This can really help to defuse your temper.
• Always think carefully before you say anything else you might regret it.
• Practice deep breathing exercises or learn to meditate.
• Always find alternative ways and mean to calm yourself down.
• Use “I” statements when describing the problem to avoid criticizing or blaming issues, e.g. “I’m upset when you didn’t pay attention to me during the dinner”, instead of, “You never pay any attention to me.” To do the latter will likely upset the other person and worsen the situation.
• Do not use sarcasm. Just some humor to release the tension such as imagining either yourself or the other party in silly situations.
• Once you’ve calmed down, express your anger as soon as possible by talking to the person who angered you in a controlled manner or someone you’re comfortable with so you’re not left stewing.
• Don’t hold grudges. It’s impossible to expect everyone to behave exactly you want them to.

It may take some time and great effort to practice these anger management strategies but it's worth it.

Anger Management

Are you an angry person? Would I like you when you're angry? Or do you change into a certain big green angry creature as soon your heart beat races up? Of course, anger is very natural but it can be destructive when expressed inappropriately. You need to explore and gauge your anger level to gain control.

So what makes you angry? How exactly do you express yourself when you're angry? Do you express it in a healthy and assertive way? Or in a hostile and aggressive way? Do you slam down the phone when faced with computerized voice prompts that seemed forever? Ever put your fist through the wall after an argument with someone?

Well, actually anger isn't such a bad thing. It can help protect you against some dangerous situations, motivate you to solve problems, or lead a reformation on social culture. Sure, daily frustrations, impatience and resentments can light up your temper but for many people, these are just fleeting moments. They are able to control themselves and quickly return to their calm self without sending their tempers to a volcanic eruption.

BUT, if your blood boils at the slightest minor irritation like losing the parking space that was supposed to be yours, or at the check out counter when the new cashier's a bit slow, you may need to improve how you're managing anger. Anger that's out of control can be pretty destructive to your life - problems to relationship, work place, and your own health.

So, how exactly do you express your anger? You might want to consider some of these questions to assist in assessing yourself;

1. Do you get angry more often than anyone else you know?
2. Do you get angrier than is necessary?
3. Do you use threatening language and gesture?
4. Do you express anger that overwhelms you and others?
5. Do you get angry enough to hit or kick things, people or animals?
6. Do you use alcohol or drugs to calm yourself?
7. Do you fume for hours or days?
8. Do you experience physical reactions such as muscle tension or racing heart beat when angry?
9. Do you often hide your anger and try to suppress your feelings?
10.Does expressing your anger make you feel better about yourself and the person who made you angry?

You need to identify the ways you express your anger to determine if you need to change the way how you respond to situations. You may have reacted too aggressively or too passively. Either way, you can learn more about yourself and make plans to deal with it.

Abusive Relationship - Part 2

I wish it was really easy to recognize an abuser but it's not that simple. Come on, how hard can it be? Well, there are a few reasons to that; (1) We were never been taught the red-flag signs to see in an abuser, (2) Physical abuse is much more easier to identify than emotional and mental abuse, and (3) It's confusing when you're in a relationship and identify that your date is an abuser.

And as I've mentioned earlier in part 1, not only women are subject to abusive relationship - men can too although they would never want to admit it for fear of losing their pride. Such abuse can be in forms of emotional abuse and for some cases, physical abuse too.

Perhaps you wondering if you can spot an abuser or if you're involved in one, here are some questions which could help in the identification. If you answered yes to any of these questions or a lot of them, I suggest you speak to someone who can assist.

1. Do you feel that there's something wrong with your relationship but can't describe it?
2. Does your date get jealous or angry when you talk to the opposite sex?
3. Does your date accuse you of cheating all the time?
4. Does you date blame you for everything that goes wrong?
5. Do you feel nervous when you're together with your date?
6. Are you afraid to disagree with your date?
7. Do you feel that your thoughts and opinions are not valued by your date?
8. Will your date do anything to win an argument by threatening or putting you down?
9. Are you told that no one else would want you?
10. Does you date tell you how to manage your finances all the time?
11. Does your date's jealousy stop you from seeing your family or close friends?
12. Do you feel like you have to account for your time?
13. Does your date call you names when you try to talk about your problems?
14. Do you have to be careful with your action so as to avoid his/her anger?
15. Does your date ever scare you with threatening or violent behavior?
16. Does your date punish you for resisting control?
17. Does our date prevent you from going out or doing things you want to do?
18. Does your date tell you that if you've changed, he/she won't abuse you anymore?
19. Does your date tell you that they will hurt you or themselves if you break up with them?
20. Did your date seemed charming initially but now criticizes and humiliate you in from of others?

If you're convinced that you're with someone who is abusive, the main thing you need to realize is that you are not responsible for their behavior. Abusers are skilled at twisting the truth to make you feel that you're the one to be blamed for their problems. Remember, it's not your fault.

Activities in Half-Way Home

At our half-way home, we constantly have visitors, sponsors and students of Medical Studies doing their community service. Some of the activities include teaching them some handiwork, cooking and even bringing them out for some outdoor activities like to the beach. All these makes the residents feel good and happy.


Here are some residents and students preparing some goodies for an upcoming charity sale. Getting the packages ready was fun... earning some $$$ out of them was even more.


"Which ball are we going to use?"
Choosing teams and determining
game rules. What are the odds?





"Can you guess who I'm trying to mimic?" Everyone seems to be having fun in this group activity.





Some days out in the sun with the greens.. even if it's just weeding and cutting grass, is good for the body, both physically and mentally.





Anyone is has a warm heart, willing to help the community can join us as a member or just organize an activity with their groups of big-hearted people. I can be contacted at my em-mail should anyone be interested.

Abusive Relationship

You met a new guy. He's sweet, cute, smart, funny and he just wants to be with you... all the time. In fact, he already declaring his undying love for you even before your very first date. He is totally into you. He wants to know everything and everything about you. Even sends you cute and loving notes, SMSs, giving you gifts out of nowhere. Charming and romantic, huh? Who wouldn't be mesmerized?

After the 'beautiful' relationship blossomed, you noticed that he does some 'annoying' stuff like shoving you around, threatened to kill himself if you leave him, shows you his moody face just because you were friendly with some guy, throwing tantrums... You brush them off when he starts treating you nice again and telling you he can't live without you.Of course, what's a little jealousy if you're in love.

Being in an abusive relationship is nothing new. The abuser can be either a man or a woman. Here is perhaps, a few danger signs you should be on the lookout.

1. Declaring his/her undying love for you before even knowing each other.
2. His/her jealousy is over the roof, i.e. suspicious of any opposite sex, wanting you for
himself/herself all the time - this kind of jealousy is not love, it's a problem.
3. Control freak - tells you what to wear, what to do, what to say, picking your friends, job, keeps your money...
4. Threatens you if you tried to leave him/her or just when you refuse to do as instructed.
5. Violent towards you either physically (punching the walls, hitting you), mentally
(name-calling, insults) or sexually (insisting on unwanted sexual activity).

Bottom line is trust your instincts. If you feel that this is the kind of relationship you're living with, get out to safety. You can never expect to change a person. But don't try to break up the relationship abruptly. Talk to someone you can trust or call a counseling hot line. Plan ahead! You have a brighter future lying in front of you.

Are you stressed out?

Do you ever feel like pulling out your hair or just wish you could scream your lungs out? It really doesn't matter what age you are, all of us at some stages in life experience 'high stress levels'. Here are some stress indicators. If you're experiencing a lot of them, better be wary and find some way to relax.

1. You're always late for work, school, meetings, appointments, etc.
2. You have trouble finishing your sentence.
3. You're impatient and always losing your temper over minor issues.
4. You feel tired most of the time.
5. You get up few times in the night.
6. You find it hard to fall asleep or you sleep too much.
7. You smoke or drink more alcohol than usual.
8. You always put the blame on other people.
9. Nothing you do seems fun anymore.
10. You have high blood pressure, diarrhoea, headache, shoulder ache, etc.
11. You feel moody and sick most of the time.
12. Friends and families keep on asking, "Are you ok?"


Feel free to add in some more.

Kuching Half-Way Home Rehabilitation Programme

The Half-way Home, also known as Group Home was designed specifically by the Mental Health Association of Kuching to act as a Rehabilitation Centre for mentally ill people who have been discharged by the hospital and other institution to prepare them to return to their families or community to lead a normal life.

With residential quarters provided for these 'residents' as they are known, the concept is to educate them to live in an environment where they can feel 'at home' in a place of the hospital ward. In this environment, they are exposed to think and be proactive in their daily lives such as looking after their personal hygiene, house-keeping like washing their own clothes, cleaning bedrooms, sweeping floors, etc. On top of these, they need to learn to buy daily essential food before before preparing and cooking for themselves. On relationship among each other, they are encouraged to behave as brothers and sisters in a family and quarrels with one another are discouraged.

Day attendants with mental illness from the community are also allowed into the Home to participate in the daily activities and socialize with other residents. This idea is to create an environment of good friendship and a feeling of normal not only among the residents but also with visitors to the Home.

Some of the residents who have been rehabilitated in the Home have been able to return to their homes or village to lead a normal life and earn a living.

Living under the Mental Roof

Now why did I say that? What was I trying to say? What I really meant was the situation of living under the same roof as a family member diagnosed with mental illness. What did it felt like? What do caregivers have to deal with?

Firstly, what is mental mental illness? Also known as mental disorder, it is a psychological or behavioral pattern that occurs in an individual that is not expected as part of normal development or culture. It can cover psychotic disorders, anxiety disorders, mood disorders, eating disorders, etc.

This is no joke. Such topic should not be taken lightly. Once of the hardest part to deal with is that we cannot talk to them the same way we would to others. We cannot blame them for the things they do. Patience and being sensitive to them is important as there is no point point reasoning with them most of the time. Such are normally the advise medical experts would advise caregivers to do. But how long can a caregiver go down the line.

I would agree to the statement the prevention is better than cure. More attention should also be given to caregivers by other members of the families and friends. They are at a higher risk of stumbling into this category of people due to the higher stress levels. Such stress levels differ depending on the individual that is being cared for. Even though the individual with such disorder may not think the same way a normal person would, often they do understand and once they are being 'pampered', ie. giving in to their way simply because they are 'unwell' - it would be a habit.

Not everyone can get well using the same method. There is absolutely no 'Standard Procedures' to help in the healing process of all. Each has a unique method and it is up to us, to identify, learn and possibly help them to rid this problem. But then again, this are all just what I think and feel. I can't expect the whole world to agree with me, can I?